Ten Commandments of Poo

I read a blog recently by a mom who wrote about rules for baby poop, and I felt inspired to write my own.

Ten Commandments of Poo

1. Thou shalt save the biggest poo for when Daddy is away.
2. Thou shalt "christen" new outfits with poo whenever possible. (Take that, expensive Baby Gap jeans!)
3. Thou shalt maximize the effects of thy poo (Up the back, in the hair, down the legs, onto the ground, etc.).
4. Thou shalt hold thy poo as long as possible, and then let loose right when Mom is headed out the door.
5. Thou shalt be generous with thy poo, especially when wipes are not easily accessible. (Don't spare it, share it!)
6. Thou shalt make pooping an Olympic event by giving it all you got. (*Gruuuunt*)
7. Thou shalt break the sound barrier by pooping loudly at inopportune times. (*Squirrrt*)
8. Thou shalt poop proudly (smile!), preferably immediately following a bath.
9. Thou shalt stick hands/feet in poo and use it like finger paint to smear on any available surface. (The world is your canvas.)
10. Thou shalt poop on any outfit that can only be removed by pulling it over your head. (Pass the scissors, please.)