We've come to the wonderful time of year called Summer. [Insert sarcastic tone] The kiddos are out of school for the Summer, which means Summer is the perfect time to ramp up the church activities from busy to insane.
Although the calendar says it ended two weeks ago, it seems like we just finished VBS. Snuggles unintentionally left out the first letter of VBS, calling it "BS" instead. Cute. But not-so-cute when he yelled across the church lobby: "Mommy! ARE WE GOING TO BS?!" Still, I find it rather ironic that Snuggles calls VBS "BS" because I have to be honest, every year I dread VBS... for several reasons. Mostly selfish reasons, I confess. But I dread it nonetheless. VBS is like crack for kids, candy for parents, and napalm for volunteers. Seriously, do parents give their kids intravenous kool-aid before their drop them off for VBS? You can almost hear the parents' sighs of relief as the minivan doors close, the tires squeal, and they run for the hills. *smile*
[Side note: The above (intentionally exaggerated) scenario does not apply to all parents. Our church is really great in that many of our kids' parents actually volunteer for VBS.]
It's beyond challenging to manage our family the week of VBS. We're out of the house by 7:30 a.m. to drop Snuggles off at daycare. We both work all day. Guitarman leaves work around 4 p.m. to drive 30 minutes back to Mt. Juliet to pick up Snuggles. He immediately turns around to drive back to the church (during rush hour), and stops for fast food so that Snuggles can eat in the car. (He won't eat at the church due to all the distractions, which means he goes hungry all evening.) It's 5:30 before Snuggles and Guitarman get back to the church... Which gives me just enough time to finish work, scarf down some food and prepare my classroom at the church before Guitarman arrives to hand off Snuggles to me. This gives Guitarman just enough time to handle all the last-minute details before the monkeys start swinging from trees.
Last year, I taught the Bible Stories at VBS. You might think this would be a simple task. But you would be wrong. See, back in the old days, VBS Bible story time involved a magnetic or felt board with cut-out character scenes to be moved around as a visual aid. In contrast, VBS curriculum now includes all kinds of very creative, hands-on activities employed to "tell the story". You don't just read a few verses from the Bible. We're talking lots of preparation in advance to decorate the room, purchase/make props, memorize dialogue, and even sometimes act out scenes. Sure, I could just skip the curriculum and read the story from the Bible, but that wouldn't engage the kids. And if you know me, you know I don't do anything half-way. So last year, I went all out... worked really hard to make the Bible lessons fun and memorable. The kids loved it, but it nearly killed me. I swore that I would never volunteer to work every day of VBS again, at least not while Jackson is young...
Oops. I did it again.
Only this year, I added potty-training Snuggles to the VBS insanity!
To be completely honest, I really do enjoy VBS when I'm in the thick of it. I love telling the stories in a way that gets the kids excited and involved in the stories. I love to see the "light bulb moments" when they really get it. But it's absolutely exhausting. When VBS wraps up for the evenings, and the last parents finally pick up their kids at 8:30 p.m., that's when it hits me... When I'm loading my extremely tired and grumpy 2-year-old into the car 30 minutes past his bedtime.. It's when I know I still have to drive 30 minutes home... It's when I'm finally getting Snuggles in bed at 9:30 p.m. and I still have to wash his pee-soaked clothes and study the lesson for the next day... That's when I swear to myself that I'll never do it again.
But I do. And I will. Because as I keep reminding myself, if one child leaves VBS with a new (or renewed) commitment to journey through life with Christ, then it's worth it.
I'm speaking that same truth to myself this week while Guitarman is gone to camp.
As Monday dawned yesterday, my Facebook news feed was filled with statuses from excited parents sending their kids off to camp. I wish I could share their excitement, but it's difficult for me to do that because while they're enjoying a break from their kids, knowing their kids are having a blast at camp, I'm a single parent with a two-year-old who misses his Daddy. I will have little-to-no communication with my husband because there is no/poor cell phone reception at the campground. I'm a camp widow.
And I get to do this again in a few weeks. Yippee!
Okay, I know I'm being Negative Nancy here. I understand it's important that Guitarman goes to camp with the kids, and I really do believe in camp ministry. On top of that, I know Guitarman enjoys camp (most of the time). But his absence takes its toll on our family.
So I'm asking God to help my attitude this week. I'm asking God to help me not to focus on being a camp widow. Instead of dressing in black and wearing a veil, I'm praying for Guitarman, and, more importantly, I'm praying for the kids. I'm praying that they will not only have fun, but that they will return home with more than mosquito bites... My prayer is that they will return with hearts overflowing with Jesus' love.
Welcome to my life.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
Vacay
I need a vacation. A real one... preferably at the beach.
We haven't been on a vacation, other than short trips to visit family, since 2005.
It's time.
Unfortunately, Uncle Sam doesn't share my sense of urgency... We still haven't received the tax return we've been expecting for eight weeks. Everyone we know who e-filed their taxes has received their tax return. Our accountant double-checked, and everything is correct...
But we're still waiting.
I was mad for awhile. Now I've just grieved the loss and moved on. Here's the reality: We still have time off work, but the closest I'll come to the beach is sitting in Snuggles' sandbox.
The good news is my Mom and Dad (let's be honest - mostly my Mom) have agreed to watch Snuggles for the week. So at least we'll have a break from parenting... time to relax, put our feet up, and focus on being a married couple.
Since we can't go on the vacation we had hoped for, here's my plan for staycation:
My goal is to read the entire "Hunger Games" trilogy...
And go to bed without setting an alarm...
And to sleep every morning until I wake up naturally... which might be noon.
And to go to the bathroom alone. *Ahhhh*
Until I became a mother, I never understood what a luxury it is to poop in peace.
Here's to vacation!
We haven't been on a vacation, other than short trips to visit family, since 2005.
It's time.
Unfortunately, Uncle Sam doesn't share my sense of urgency... We still haven't received the tax return we've been expecting for eight weeks. Everyone we know who e-filed their taxes has received their tax return. Our accountant double-checked, and everything is correct...
But we're still waiting.
I was mad for awhile. Now I've just grieved the loss and moved on. Here's the reality: We still have time off work, but the closest I'll come to the beach is sitting in Snuggles' sandbox.
The good news is my Mom and Dad (let's be honest - mostly my Mom) have agreed to watch Snuggles for the week. So at least we'll have a break from parenting... time to relax, put our feet up, and focus on being a married couple.
Since we can't go on the vacation we had hoped for, here's my plan for staycation:
My goal is to read the entire "Hunger Games" trilogy...
And go to bed without setting an alarm...
And to sleep every morning until I wake up naturally... which might be noon.
And to go to the bathroom alone. *Ahhhh*
Until I became a mother, I never understood what a luxury it is to poop in peace.
Here's to vacation!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Recently, I received an e-mail from some friends of mine who resigned their ministry position. As I read their account of the circumstances surrounding their resignation, my heart ached. The basic elements of their story were disturbingly familiar because, unfortunately, their story is not unique. While Guitarman has been fortunate (for the most part) in his ministry positions, I've seen far too many of our ministry friends encounter difficult situations over the years. Many of them have succumbed to what I believe is abuse of what God intended for the relationship between pastor and the faith community. Here is the cycle I've observed:
Pastor begins ministry at XYZ Church. Pastor is welcomed with great anticipation and enthusiasm. Church family embraces pastor, showering him/her with gifts and invites to dinner. Church family is eager to support new pastor, and excited about the pastor's vision for the church, so church members show up in droves to volunteer for activities and events. Pastor is energized by the enthusiasm, and the first year flies by... But then something strange happens. The honeymoon ends.
Fast forward two years: Dinner invitations stopped after the first month. The excitement has worn off, and volunteers start to dwindle. Pastor begs for help at various events, but church members are too overwhelmed with their busy schedules to help out. People start to leave the church because they "aren't being fed". Pastor is expected to "make it happen" with or without support, so he/she works more hours, thus neglecting his/her family. As a result, the pastor's spouse and children are unhappy, which creates even more strain. Pastor Appreciation month passes without acknowledgment. Pastor's e-mail inbox is filled with "concerns" (translation: complaints) from people who are unwilling to be a part of a solution. Pastor begins to grow weary. Pastor feels tired and unappreciated, which is reflected in the effectiveness of his/her ministry. Church complaints grow louder. Church lobbies and/or votes to replace pastor. It's like instructions on a shampoo bottle: Lather. Rinse. Repeat. (The whole cycle starts again with a new pastor.)
And so I read my friends' e-mail with sadness in my heart... another good pastor bites the dust.
Perhaps it was this situation that caused me to react strongly to the words I read on a blog recently. The well-intentioned blogger in question used their blog as a platform to complain about their pastor. The blogger's complaint was that the pastor failed to act how the blogger thought they should. The pastor should have known better. Yada yada. As I read the blog, I threw up a little in my mouth. I felt so bad for that pastor, who will most certainly read the criticism published for all the world to see.
Another good pastor chewed up and spit out. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
I've seen this same type of thing happen with school teachers. When I hear people complaining about teachers, I wonder if that parent has ever spent a day in their child's classroom? I doubt it. Anyone who spends time in a classroom full of children has a profound appreciation and respect for teachers. I, for one, greatly admire my friends who are teachers. I love my son, but I don't LOVE other people's children enough to spend eight hours a day with them. Being a school teacher is a unique calling. A teacher is truly a servant-leader..... a person who is underpaid, under-appreciated and overworked--devoting their life, making sacrifices, all with the goal of serving others.
Hmm... sounds familiar, doesn't it?
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Too many pastors, too many good teachers are being chewed up and spit out by those they serve. I wonder what would happen if instead of blaming pastors for all the problems in the church, if instead of blaming teachers for the flawed educational system, what would happen if we offered to be part of the solution?
Pastor begins ministry at XYZ Church. Pastor is welcomed with great anticipation and enthusiasm. Church family embraces pastor, showering him/her with gifts and invites to dinner. Church family is eager to support new pastor, and excited about the pastor's vision for the church, so church members show up in droves to volunteer for activities and events. Pastor is energized by the enthusiasm, and the first year flies by... But then something strange happens. The honeymoon ends.
Fast forward two years: Dinner invitations stopped after the first month. The excitement has worn off, and volunteers start to dwindle. Pastor begs for help at various events, but church members are too overwhelmed with their busy schedules to help out. People start to leave the church because they "aren't being fed". Pastor is expected to "make it happen" with or without support, so he/she works more hours, thus neglecting his/her family. As a result, the pastor's spouse and children are unhappy, which creates even more strain. Pastor Appreciation month passes without acknowledgment. Pastor's e-mail inbox is filled with "concerns" (translation: complaints) from people who are unwilling to be a part of a solution. Pastor begins to grow weary. Pastor feels tired and unappreciated, which is reflected in the effectiveness of his/her ministry. Church complaints grow louder. Church lobbies and/or votes to replace pastor. It's like instructions on a shampoo bottle: Lather. Rinse. Repeat. (The whole cycle starts again with a new pastor.)
And so I read my friends' e-mail with sadness in my heart... another good pastor bites the dust.
Perhaps it was this situation that caused me to react strongly to the words I read on a blog recently. The well-intentioned blogger in question used their blog as a platform to complain about their pastor. The blogger's complaint was that the pastor failed to act how the blogger thought they should. The pastor should have known better. Yada yada. As I read the blog, I threw up a little in my mouth. I felt so bad for that pastor, who will most certainly read the criticism published for all the world to see.
Another good pastor chewed up and spit out. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
I've seen this same type of thing happen with school teachers. When I hear people complaining about teachers, I wonder if that parent has ever spent a day in their child's classroom? I doubt it. Anyone who spends time in a classroom full of children has a profound appreciation and respect for teachers. I, for one, greatly admire my friends who are teachers. I love my son, but I don't LOVE other people's children enough to spend eight hours a day with them. Being a school teacher is a unique calling. A teacher is truly a servant-leader..... a person who is underpaid, under-appreciated and overworked--devoting their life, making sacrifices, all with the goal of serving others.
Hmm... sounds familiar, doesn't it?
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Too many pastors, too many good teachers are being chewed up and spit out by those they serve. I wonder what would happen if instead of blaming pastors for all the problems in the church, if instead of blaming teachers for the flawed educational system, what would happen if we offered to be part of the solution?
Friday, March 2, 2012
This is how he rolls
It was 70 degrees and sunny here yesterday! The weather was perfect to enjoy some outdoor fun after work. So we decided to go on a walk. Snuggles hasn't quite mastered the art of peddling yet, so we still have to push him.
Snuggles' attention span is short, so we quickly moved onto the next activity: T-ball. I don't see a future in Major League Baseball, but at least he had fun.
Next, we moved onto the tunnel. Notice he is still wearing his helmet. Safety first! (He would wear that helmet 24/7 if we let him. He loves it.)
Snuggles' attention span is short, so we quickly moved onto the next activity: T-ball. I don't see a future in Major League Baseball, but at least he had fun.
Next, we moved onto the tunnel. Notice he is still wearing his helmet. Safety first! (He would wear that helmet 24/7 if we let him. He loves it.)
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Crayons
So, remember the other day when I wrote about feeling like I was hanging off the edge of a cliff...
Monday, February 13, 2012
The Cliff
I feel like I fell off a cliff somehow and I'm trying to claw my way back up... But I. can't. quite. reach. the. top. Life just seems overwhelming. (Cue the melodramatic, Little-House-on-the-Prairie-style background music.)
Okay, skip the music. But really, I'm struggling.
It's not easy for me to be open about my weaknesses. I mean, I can (and do) readily admit that I'm flawed. But I really, really hate it that I have limitations. Drives me nuts. I wish I could take on the world by myself without having to ask for help. But it just doesn't work that way. I can't do it all.
So what's eating at me? Time. I. Just. Don't. Have. It.
Between juggling work and church responsibilities and trying to take care of my home (at which I fail miserably most of the time), by 9 o'clock in the evening, I collapse on the couch exhausted. I should probably spend that last hour before bed doing something constructive, like cleaning or sorting through the stacks of papers/magazines piled all over my house. But I don't. I just sit there on the couch. I might watch TV or read a book, but my mind pretty switched to the "off" position the minute my butt hit the chair.
Sometimes I reach for the computer to blog or check Facebook... and then I see Katie McCutie-Pants just posted pictures of the delicious, organic meal she made for dinner. And there's her smiling family, sitting around the table in their beautifully decorated dining room, which she just gave a fresh coat of decorative paint after being inspired by Pinterest. Who has time to cook (much less afford!) an organic meal? And what was that other word? Decorate? What's that? I don't have a single picture hanging up in my house! Darn you, Pinterest, and all your crafty ideas. Pinterest is like a jab on the arm, reminding me that I suck at all things domestic.
Part of the challenge right now is that Snuggles is extremely time-consuming and demanding. The adjustment to the new daycare/preschool has been rough. He's not been taking his usual afternoon naps (or not long enough), which means that when he's home, he spends the evenings whining/fussing/throwing tantrums, and just being all-around disagreeable. Maybe it's the daycare transition. Or maybe it's just because he's two. Maybe a combination of both....
All I know is I'm not handling it very well. (There it is again... Another one of those pesky limitations. Gag.) He throws things. He refuses to eat anything but bread. He drops on the floor and death rolls like a crocodile. He pinches. He scratches. And the screaming. Oh, the screaming....
But the good news is... In between throwing tantrums and screaming at decibels I'm certain can be heard from outer space, Snuggles is incredibly cute.
Don't let the blueberry eyes and pinch-worthy dimples fool you... It's a good thing he's cute. Otherwise, I'm afraid one of us wouldn't survive. *smile*
Someone will probably read this blog and think, "Homegirl has lost her mind. She only has one kid, and he's in daycare all day! Her life is cake!" Let me assure you, my life is not cake. It's not even a cupcake. I'm not comparing my life to others or saying I have it worse. I realize everyone has their struggles. This is mine. I'm in a valley right now, but I will claw my way out somehow.
Okay, skip the music. But really, I'm struggling.
It's not easy for me to be open about my weaknesses. I mean, I can (and do) readily admit that I'm flawed. But I really, really hate it that I have limitations. Drives me nuts. I wish I could take on the world by myself without having to ask for help. But it just doesn't work that way. I can't do it all.
So what's eating at me? Time. I. Just. Don't. Have. It.
Between juggling work and church responsibilities and trying to take care of my home (at which I fail miserably most of the time), by 9 o'clock in the evening, I collapse on the couch exhausted. I should probably spend that last hour before bed doing something constructive, like cleaning or sorting through the stacks of papers/magazines piled all over my house. But I don't. I just sit there on the couch. I might watch TV or read a book, but my mind pretty switched to the "off" position the minute my butt hit the chair.
Sometimes I reach for the computer to blog or check Facebook... and then I see Katie McCutie-Pants just posted pictures of the delicious, organic meal she made for dinner. And there's her smiling family, sitting around the table in their beautifully decorated dining room, which she just gave a fresh coat of decorative paint after being inspired by Pinterest. Who has time to cook (much less afford!) an organic meal? And what was that other word? Decorate? What's that? I don't have a single picture hanging up in my house! Darn you, Pinterest, and all your crafty ideas. Pinterest is like a jab on the arm, reminding me that I suck at all things domestic.
Part of the challenge right now is that Snuggles is extremely time-consuming and demanding. The adjustment to the new daycare/preschool has been rough. He's not been taking his usual afternoon naps (or not long enough), which means that when he's home, he spends the evenings whining/fussing/throwing tantrums, and just being all-around disagreeable. Maybe it's the daycare transition. Or maybe it's just because he's two. Maybe a combination of both....
All I know is I'm not handling it very well. (There it is again... Another one of those pesky limitations. Gag.) He throws things. He refuses to eat anything but bread. He drops on the floor and death rolls like a crocodile. He pinches. He scratches. And the screaming. Oh, the screaming....
But the good news is... In between throwing tantrums and screaming at decibels I'm certain can be heard from outer space, Snuggles is incredibly cute.
Someone will probably read this blog and think, "Homegirl has lost her mind. She only has one kid, and he's in daycare all day! Her life is cake!" Let me assure you, my life is not cake. It's not even a cupcake. I'm not comparing my life to others or saying I have it worse. I realize everyone has their struggles. This is mine. I'm in a valley right now, but I will claw my way out somehow.
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