Monday, April 9, 2012

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Recently, I received an e-mail from some friends of mine who resigned their ministry position.  As I read their account of the circumstances surrounding their resignation, my heart ached.  The basic elements of their story were disturbingly familiar because, unfortunately, their story is not unique.  While Guitarman has been fortunate (for the most part) in his ministry positions, I've seen far too many of our ministry friends encounter difficult situations over the years. Many of them have succumbed to what I believe is abuse of what God intended for the relationship between pastor and the faith community.  Here is the cycle I've observed:

Pastor begins ministry at XYZ Church. Pastor is welcomed with great anticipation and enthusiasm. Church family embraces pastor, showering him/her with gifts and invites to dinner. Church family is eager to support new pastor, and excited about the pastor's vision for the church, so church members show up in droves to volunteer for activities and events.  Pastor is energized by the enthusiasm, and the first year flies by...  But then something strange happens. The honeymoon ends.

Fast forward two years:  Dinner invitations stopped after the first month.  The excitement has worn off, and volunteers start to dwindle. Pastor begs for help at various events, but church members are too overwhelmed with their busy schedules to help out.  People start to leave the church because they "aren't being fed". Pastor is expected to "make it happen" with or without support, so he/she works more hours, thus neglecting his/her family.  As a result, the pastor's spouse and children are unhappy, which creates even more strain. Pastor Appreciation month passes without acknowledgment.  Pastor's e-mail inbox is filled with "concerns" (translation: complaints) from people who are unwilling to be a part of a solution. Pastor begins to grow weary.  Pastor feels tired and unappreciated, which is reflected in the effectiveness of his/her ministry. Church complaints grow louder.  Church lobbies and/or votes to replace pastor.  It's like instructions on a shampoo bottle:  Lather. Rinse. Repeat. (The whole cycle starts again with a new pastor.)

And so I read my friends' e-mail with sadness in my heart... another good pastor bites the dust. 

Perhaps it was this situation that caused me to react strongly to the words I read on a blog recently. The well-intentioned blogger in question used their blog as a platform to complain about their pastor. The blogger's complaint was that the pastor failed to act how the blogger thought they should. The pastor should have known better. Yada yada.  As I read the blog, I threw up a little in my mouth. I felt so bad for that pastor, who will most certainly read the criticism published for all the world to see.

Another good pastor chewed up and spit out.  Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I've seen this same type of thing happen with school teachers. When I hear people complaining about teachers, I wonder if that parent has ever spent a day in their child's classroom?  I doubt it.  Anyone who spends time in a classroom full of children has a profound appreciation and respect for teachers. I, for one, greatly admire my friends who are teachers. I love my son, but I don't LOVE other people's children enough to spend eight hours a day with them.  Being a school teacher is a unique calling.  A teacher is truly a servant-leader..... a person who is underpaid, under-appreciated and overworked--devoting their life, making sacrifices, all with the goal of serving others.

Hmm... sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Too many pastors, too many good teachers are being chewed up and spit out by those they serve.  I wonder what would happen if instead of blaming pastors for all the problems in the church, if instead of blaming teachers for the flawed educational system, what would happen if we offered to be part of the solution?

4 comments:

  1. Very well said Melinda. I'm not a pastor or pastors wife, but I think that all too often much is expected from our pastors without any support given. I think that people sometimes forget that their pastors are human and need love, support and understanding just as we do.

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  2. Well written. As a PK, I get it, sadly.

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