Big Boy

Jackson is growing up! He likes to bounce. Here he is bouncing in the play gym.



He is almost able to sit unassisted.



 And of course it wouldn't be a good blog update without a poop incident.

Too Cute For Words

It should be illegal to be this cute.

Reel Life

I write a lot about the joys of motherhood. What I don’t share often are the struggles. Since I’m a real person, I do have challenges. As we use to say when I was 13, "Get real!" This blog wouldn’t be worth reading if I didn’t get real every once-in-awhile. So today I'm taking advice from 13-year-old me.

The last 6 months of motherhood have been filled with joy, laughter, and enough love to fill a lifetime. I’ve also shed tears… quietly, and mostly when no one was looking.

I was shocked by motherhood. It caught me off guard. I’m absolutely in love with Jackson, and would never take a “do over.”  But I have to admit it’s been difficult for me. Sometimes I look down at Jackson nursing or sleeping in my arms and I have an out of body experience. It’s the only way I know to describe what happens to me… It’s a flash, like I’m watching myself in a movie. The woman I see looks like me as I watch her feeding Jackson, bathing him, or rocking him to sleep. Listening to her sing lullabies, she even sounds like me. I see the woman in the movie, enjoying her baby and smiling. But I have this feeling that it’s not me. I have this feeling that the real me is watching the movie from somewhere else, like peering through a porch window to watch life happen in someone else’s living room.

It’s during those flashes, those out-of-body experiences that I’m faced with ongoing identity crisis. Whose life am I living? Motherhood happened when I least expected it. There are moments when I feel like I’ve lost hold of myself. Gone is the woman who woke up slowly, who washed her face religiously and made sure her hair was “just so”. Now she wakes to the sound of a crying baby. I look in the mirror and I see dark circles under her eyes, spit-up on her clothes, and hair that barely gets washed. Before: she loved going to work. After: she sits down at her desk every morning, fighting off the guilt of leaving her baby. Who is that woman in the movie? It’s just theater, life on a reel. It can’t be me.

But it is me. This is my life now. This tiny human being is totally dependent on me. He needs me to feed him, dress him, clean him, teach him, comfort him, provide for him. I am his mother. I’m the center of his universe. It’s terrifying.

Some days I stay inside my body, going through the routine of "sames" that I do every day. I devote my energy to being who people need me to be. Other days, it happens. Without warning, the movie starts to play... and I watch myself living someone else's life. Maybe someday my head will join my heart in understanding that the reel life is my real life. Maybe the movie will leave the theatre soon. Until then, I'm trying to enjoy the show.

Kisses!

Jackson has started giving kisses. 

I kiss him.... 

And he kisses me!

It's a messy kiss, but I love it!  He's my precious snuggle bug.

New Poo

Babies should come with "Hazardous materials" warning labels. Apparently Jackson's digestive system adjusted to the solid foods. He has turned into an explosive poop factory. 

This happened Sunday night.

As luck would have it (or misfortune, depending on who you ask), John was not home. So I didn't have an extra set of hands to help deal with this....

 Unlike Jackson's previous deposits, which were runny with a mild odor,  the new poo is thick and smelly! It was all over him, all over me, and all over the kitchen! I had to put him in the sink and rinse him under the faucet, but eventually I got him squeaky clean again. When it was all over, I picked up the camera and said, "Jackson Ray, did you poop?!"  This was his response.

Boys will be boys.

Solids, Finally!

At Jackson's 6-month checkup, the doctor finally gave the "go ahead" for us to start Jackson on solid foods. Nana was in town at the time, and she suggested we start with rice cereal and then work in yellow vegetables. Since Jackson has already shown signs of allergies, we have to be very intentional about introducing foods slowly and one at a time.

We started with rice cereal mixed with breast milk, and we were pleasantly surprised that Jackson immediately went for it. He opened his mouth and made "mmm... mmm" noises like he wanted more. I was a little disappointed that we didn't get to capture photos of him making funny faces at the new taste/texture. He never even balked at it... just off to the races!



A note about the video: My mom was running the camera, and she is technologically challenged. The first take was a no-go because Mom didn't know how to work the camera. So that's why you'll see us continue instructing Mom throughout the video. Ha!

Since Jackson is eating solids now, we needed a highchair. I've been watching Craigslist for several months now, but I didn't see anything that looked like it was in good enough shape. Hairchairs tend to get a lot of use, and they get messy, especially if they're fabric. So I hesitated to buy a used chair unless it was in great shape. Last week I saw a Craigslist ad for a Peg Perego Prima Pappa highchair. I wasn't familiar with the Peg Perego brand, so I looked it up online and discovered that Peg Perego is a high-end brand made in Italy. It's only sold in specialty baby stores and online. I contacted the Craigslist seller, and set up a time to see the chair. The chair was in great shape, but it was filthy--caked with old food and crumbs. (I can't believe someone would sell something like that. Yuck!) Thankfully, Peg Perego highchairs have a soft vinyl cover, so it was an ideal chair to buy used. So we bought a high-end highchair for less than we could have bought a new one from Babies-R-Us! When we got the highchair home, we took it apart. I put the straps in the washer, along with the entire vinyl cover for a good cleaning. I took the rest of the chair frame into the bathtub and scrubbed it thoroughly. Now it's as good as new... and Jackson has a big boy chair!

After a few days of rice cereal, Jackson lost interest. He wouldn't open his mouth for it, just fussed at me instead. So we tried some sweet potatoes mixed with the rice cereal.

He loves them!  He looks like a baby bird... he just keeps opening up his mouth wanting me to spoon it in faster. Next up, squash and carrots.

Nana Time

My Dad surprised my Mom with an awesome gift for Mother's Day... a plane ticket to Boise! (It was a great gift for me, too.) The only thing that would have made the weekend better would have been if my Dad came, too. Mom had not seen Jackson since we were in Indiana at Christmas, when he was 7 weeks old. She walked through the security gate at the airport and immediately squeezed Jackson!  It was Nana Time!

Nana spent lots of time singing to Jackson and teaching him nursery rhymes that I hadn't heard in years. 

Here she is singing "Down came the rain that washed the spider out"  (It-sy Bit-sy Spider)

On Friday, we took Nana to Hyde Park (in Boise) where we ate ice cream at an old fashioned ice cream parlor. Then we went to Camels Back Park for more fun. The weather was beautiful!

John and Nana climbed the big hill. Jackson and I stayed behind and enjoyed the sun. (If I had attempted the hill, we would have needed an ambulance standing by.)

Nana spent lots of time engaging Jackson's motor skills with rattles and toys.

She also introduced him to the park swing. He loved the swing!

There were plenty of Kodak moments.

And Daddy had fun, too.

Later that evening we ate dinner on a restaurant patio, and listened to live music.

While we were waiting on our dinner, Jackson pooped through his shorts, all over Nana's hands/clothes and onto the ground. Nana and I retreated quickly to the women's restroom, where we stripped Jackson and washed him in the sink. Poop was everywhere. It looked like a mustard bomb exploded!  I'm so glad Nana was there because I probably would have FREAKED out. But Nana handled it like a pro, like she had been pooped on thousands of times before. (Considering her line of work and the fact that she survived four children, I suspect she probably has.)  Apparently all the pooping festivities wore Jackson out.

Over the weekend, Nana enjoyed some much-deserved time to chillax and read a book.

When she wasn't reading, she was hanging out with Jackson, doing what Nanas do best.

Like Eskimo kisses.

And bath time....

.... which just happens to be Jackson's favorite time of day.

I asked Jackson what he thought about having Nana in town for the weekend? He responded, "Ra Ra Ra!"  (Translation: "Three cheers for Nana! I love her!")  I love her, too, Jackson. We can't wait to see Nana (and Papa!) in July.

6 Months Old!

Jackson officially turned 6 months old on May 12, and he is C-U-T-E!  He's all smiles, giggles, and squeals. He also babbles. He says "Da Da" and "Ra Ra". I'm trying to get him to say "Ma Ma", but no luck with that yet. He doesn't really know what he is saying, but we sure do love to hear his cute little babbling sounds. These are the building blocks of learning to speak intelligible words!

Jackson went to the doctor last Friday for his 6-month check-up. His growth slowed a little bit these past two months, but the doctor said that's normal for breastfed babies. Here is a chart to show Jackson's growth over the past 6 months.

Age	Weight (lbs, oz)	Height (inches)	Head (cm)
Birth	7 lbs, 6 oz	21	14
2 weeks	6 lbs, 11 oz	21	14
1 month	9 lbs, 14.5 oz (47%)	22 5/8 (82%)	14 5/8 (24%)
2 months	11 lbs, 12.5 oz (52%)	23 (53%)	15 1/2 (35%)
4 months	14 lbs, 9 oz (40%)	26(83%)	16 1/2 (38%)
6 months	16 lbs, 11.5 oz (34%)	26 1/2 (53%)	16 3/4 (18%)

Lots of things are changing now that Jackson is 6 months old. This developmental age carries with it lots of "firsts". Most importantly, Jackson started eating rice cereal! (More on that later.) He said his first word. (See my last blog post.) And last weekend, he enjoyed his first ride in a park swing. He loved it!

 He is big enough to play in the Baby Einstein play gym we borrowed from a friend. 

We are enjoying every minute of these precious days with Jackson. He brings so much love and fun into our life. His smile literally lights up the room. We are blessed!

"Da Da"

I carried him inside me for 39 weeks, I sacrificed my body (literally) to give birth to him, and I have supplied all his meals for the past 6 months... So what does he choose for his first word?

I don't think he knows what he's saying yet, but it sure is fun!

Spit Happens

I think Jackson is going to be an entertainer. He loves to make people laugh. His latest thing is to make a vibrating noise with his tongue and lips. He sounds like a little motorboat. It's cute as can be, but it's messy. He spits all over the place! After one of his little motorboat sessions, he's soaked and so are we! But don't take my word for it....

The other fun thing with Jackson these days is he loves to be tickled. He is ticklish all over his body, but especially his ribs, tummy and feet. It's so fun to make him laugh and squeal.

Love On Another

It's been a tough couple of weeks. It's during these emotional valleys that I really feel the absence of my family. When John returned from being in Nashville for 4 days, he was back for 3 days, and left again Friday for a mission trip with 5th and 6th graders. So I was alone with Jackson again. Don't get me wrong, I am so glad John went to Nashville, I'm thankful for his job, and I love my son. But I was worn out physically, emotionally and mentally.  So John's announcement that he was leaving again was not well received on my part, and I had to apologize to him for my reaction.

On Sunday our pastor spoke about loving one another. The scripture reference was John 13:34, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." Much to my amusement, there was a typo on the PowerPoint slide that displayed the following words on the big screen:

Love on another.

I giggled as I thought about how that one little typo changed the meaning of the scripture. I don't think Jesus necessarily intended for us to kiss and hug all of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Can you imagine.... ?  I couldn't squelch the snickers as I thought of all the stuffed shirts at work hugging each another.  Alas, the tech crew discovered the error, and I saw the words change on the screen.  "Love one another."

As I reflected on John 13:34 over the past couple of days, I remembered the folks who "loved on" me these past few weeks.

• Several family members from Elkhart called and sent Facebook messages to assure me of their prayers.
• Joye and Johnny watched Jackson while Albre attended an appointment.
• Kendra and Melanie brought dinner so I didn't have to cook two meals. (Yum!)
• Heather watched Jackson on Saturday so I could get my hair done.
• Karen listened when I needed to talk.
• Albre called and texted to check on me.

I don't think I could have made it through the past two weeks without the wonderful people who "loved on" me when I needed it most. Although John 13:34 says "Love one another," I don't think Jesus would mind the typo. These folks "loved on" me when I needed it most, and for that I am grateful.